Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
We all need help. I’ve lived in denial of that – been quite a porcupine. Some painful lessons have taught me differently.
When I don’t ask for help I deprive someone else of the blessing of helping. We all know it’s a great feeling to help.
When I don’t ask for help I become prideful – thinking I am more capable than I am. I risk health and safety working beyond my skill set. And though I have taken on big tasks as an amateur, that result was well… amateurish. My stress and anger during the process were a nightmare for the people around me. I had to become better at asking for forgiveness.
We want to look strong and capable. We don’t want to look weak. But we are to live in community. It was not good for Adam to be alone (Genesis 2:18). Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 warns us against the solo plan, that “two are better than one. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” Acts 2:42-47 tells how the early church “had everything in common . . . giving to anyone as he had need.” I don’t think things have changed in God’s plan.
You and I can’t know everything. Why should we? Life is too short. Mastering endless information and mastering endless skills is endless, taking more time than justified. Perhaps focusing more on people and relationships would benefit everyone.
It’s okay to ask for help. People like to be useful and are usually willing to lend a hand. Ask, go ahead and ask! If someone can’t help, they may be able to suggest someone more qualified and available.
So how do I ask? First, clarify what help you need. Be thoughtful about who to ask. Pick someone with knowledge and experience. Don’t demand. Give the context of the situation. Trust and respect them. Don’t reject their ideas but ask questions. Learn from their experience and expertise. Tell them what you have tried, why you chose to ask them, and where the help is needed. Narrow down the problem. Work with them on when you need help. Last-minute requests are going to be difficult. Be flexible and respect their schedule. Now, go ahead and ask. Be willing to help others in return. Offer your time and talents.
CoVid has brought about many acts of service. This recent snowstorm has added more. But we can help and ask for help anytime.